Sea of Thieves (SoT) Toxic Family

The truth about a situation that brought betrayal to a family amongst friends. Hurt, Lies and Betrayal.

I wanted to share an experience that I had, but before I begin, I want to make it clear that I am not looking for any form of sympathy or empathy, nor am I looking for negativity or hate towards anyone involved. Rather, I hope to share my story in a way that allows readers to form their own opinions and perspectives about the people involved. It’s important to me that my experience is heard, but it’s equally important to me that no one is unfairly judged or attacked based on my account. So, I ask that you please read with an open mind and form your own thoughts on the situation.

Telling my side of the story to this day is to help me move past the trauma and betrayal that I was left with due to the situation. Even after a couple years, I am not fully healed and I don’t think I will ever be fully healed, but all I can do is continue being the best person I can be.

If this truly didn’t happen then I wouldn’t then people wouldn’t have banned me or blocked me for speaking out about the situation.

People involved during the situation

My Ex: xmeaganx
Ex-Friend: Spar (Formerly known as Sparbucks)
Ex-Friend: @Saika (Formerly known as Saika_Saisune)
Ex-Friend: @TroddTV
Ex-Friend: @UnicornLunae (Formerly known as LadyLuna)
Ex-Friend: @Miffoo (Formerly known as MythicalFood)
Ex-Friend: @Brunodiaz
Ex-Acquaintance: @ZachNCheese
Ex-Acquaintance: @MyNamesClayTTV

December 2020

What I have been going through and dealing with had not been easy at all honestly. There will be those people who will say I am not over the relationship I was in, but in all honesty I am far from over with the relationship. I have been since the day of the break up. Why do I say this? Since the night of the situation I basically had a month to cope with the possibility of breaking up. What I was having the hardest time getting over was feeling betrayed by friends and some of those friends I called family.

Before I talk about the relationship and what happened. I want to give you an overview of the friendship so there is an insight to why I would feel betrayed.

I had been friends with @Spar (formerly known as Sparbucks) and @Saika (formerly known as Saika_Saisune) for close to 2 years before this happened. As the friendship began I learned about Saika having a previous relationship with another streamer in which she said she was abused by the guy. I personally never asked for proof of this abuse, but I respected her wishes to not associate with this guy. Though when I was hopping servers (Sea of Thieves) for multiple streamers I did end up as an absolute last resort, I passed a server to his fellow streamer. That was the only association I had with this guy and I barely watched his fellow streamer because of him. After I passed the server I would even leave the stream. I’ve heard of Saika getting upset or feeling hurt on multiple occasions, even recently, with different people for having an association with this guy that abused her. She would even send messages to people she considered a friend, including my ex, about this guy and to avoid him. If I’ve seen her pop into a chat and I knew the streamer was sailing with him I would warn her in messages. This was my loyalty to them.

Spring forward to June/July of 2020, I met a girl through multiple streams named @xmeaganx. We started talking through Twitch messages and it led to us getting in a relationship. I gave it my all in this relationship even switching my sleep schedule while she was working overnights. I worked overnights on my business so I could spend time and talk to her. Things were honestly perfect until we found a streamer by the name of @ZachNCheese. 

Over the course of August and September I started feeling there was a distance between us. It was out of the ordinary, but I knew she was also dealing with moving back home. So I thought little of it. Before she moved, she was home for a week or two due to covid related stuff. Even with her being stuck at home we talked super little. I just rolled with it and just told her I missed our talks. After she moved there was still a distance between us. While I felt this distance, I noticed this weird friendship between her and @MyNamesClayTTV. What was weird is that Meagan wanted Clay to call her Dad while she called Clay son. Once I voiced that I was weirded out by it she started calling him “Clay Baby” which to me baby is a term used in relationships mainly. At this point, I did not think she was cheating at all. 

A couple weeks after these things occurred  ZachNCheese was streaming. I had gone to bed since I had to get tested for covid in the morning. After I went to bed his chat turned into a room of horny people with multiple people being involved. I woke up to a text message asking if I was still awake from a mutual friend. Because of this text message I was confused. When I was out to get tested I received a text back asking if I saw Zachs vod from the previous night. I said no and so I was told I should see it and what had been said that night.

A lot of sexual things were said that night. A girl named Megan asked Meagan (my gf) if she saw a picture of Clay’s kid. She said she didn’t (see the picture) and after being shown the picture she stated “Can I have your sperm to make a baby as cute as yours”. This was followed in chat by Meagan saying she was wet and also stating she received a dm asking for pictures. While this night was going on Meagan was talking to Megan in DM’s where she stated that she was talking to Clay in DM’s, where she was turned on by the chat, stated again that she was wet, and even said that Clay asked for nudes. The reason I even got a message while I was asleep was because to Megan it was alarming what my ex-gf was saying in both Zach’s chat and in the DM’s. Which was inappropriate and stretched far over the line. I absolutely would even consider it cheating. After hearing and seeing the things said I texted her asking her if there was something I needed to talk to me about. She asked if I was talking about last night and I simply replied “yes”. She seemed immediately upset that I was asking her about it and we talked a bit about it. She didn’t think it was anything but jokes amongst friends. I asked her why she said things like the sperm comment towards another guy and she didn’t think anything of it. The one thing I was told that I couldn’t shake off of my head was that I had been told she was talking to Clay in messages. I ended up asking to see what was said and she wasn’t happy. What I saw was a screenshot with a meme picture from about two weeks before this happened. The meme basically was her saying she was Clay’s slut which Clay basically agreed she was. Followed by her stating she had missed him when he was out of town. Followed by no other messages. Though messages could be deleted on discord or there could have been other means of communication like text messages or twitch messages. 

After this day happened I told Spar and Saika to stay clear of Zach because of allowing this to happen. I even told them as well as Dogette something bad had happened but can’t really talk about it since I didn’t want to make it worse with Meagan. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling heavy on my mind so I texted Meagan stating I need to take a break and we agreed upon a week.

During this break, I was playing Sea of Thieves with Spar and Saika while also modding for Spar. While on this break a guy (now known as) AdonaiElRoi wrote in Spar’s chat of how Meagan was here in the chat and how she is a dirty girl. This was a reference to the one night everything happened. I deleted that message and Spar wasn’t happy that I did. I messaged Meagan and she was thankful. Though she felt embarrassed and didn’t want others to see her in this manner or to think she was this way. 

After the week was up we spent nearly 2-3 hours talking on the phone about questions she had for me. The first question was about the friendship with Megan. She didn’t really care for it or understand it. To me, she was a friend of Meagan’s and it’s good to know your gf’s friends. Since she expressed and seemed to not like me talking to her, I told her I would literally block her from contacting me and delete her number. I also deleted her messages which included screenshots of the discord messages between Meagan and Megan showing what had been said. The second question was about my friendship with Saika and how she thought it was more than what it actually was. Why did she think this? Because while we were dating, Spar for numerous days would send me a message after his stream about issues with a guy that Saika was friends with. This friendship nearly wrecked his relationship with Saika. In which Saika almost walked away from the house for good. Spar would literally message me about his issues with this guy which was followed by telling me he would talk to me later because Saika and him would end up arguing. This happened on numerous occasions. Hence why she would not stream day in and day out back in June/July of last year. Within these messages from Spar he would make it sound like he thought there were feelings between both Saika and this other guy.

I told my ex there was literally no feelings towards Saika, we were just super close friends, friends that considered each other family at the end of the day. There was nothing more or less to it. My ex even told me that she had talked to Spar about how she felt there was something more.

After this talk things seemed to get better between myself and my ex. HOWEVER, I felt super uncomfortable about her being around and interacting with the guys from that (Zach and Clay) every day after that night. Meagan didn’t seem to care about me being uncomfortable with her around them as she saw them as friends and she wanted to support them regardless how I felt. A month or so goes by and she had brought up Zach’s name and I told her that I still felt uncomfortable with her around them after that night. So we tried to work things out but there truly was no compromise to be made as every compromise was fully in her favor. Neither of us wanted the other to have regrets. So we ended up breaking up. 

After we broke up, Spar and Saika found out. They had spoken to Meagan before they spoke to me due to Meagan running and crying to Saika right after we broke up.When I spoke to them they didn’t want to believe anything I had to say. Spar kept on saying he saw all he had to see cause once he saw that I asked for messages that was the end for him. He didn’t care what else I had to say. When I talked to Saika she basically said it’s a he said, she said since it was two different things being told to them. As time went on I kept on telling her more things, sometimes telling her things over and she was like show me the proof. This proof I no longer had due to deleting it after the talk with my ex about her not being happy with me being friends with Megan. Nor did I have my texts with my ex, cause the first thing you do is rid yourself of the memories or pain. Although I had proof from other people of that night actually taking place, they did not want to believe it ever happened.

Sidenote: I made a tweet about the break up and all of my friends hated it. They kept on telling me that it shouldn’t have been made public or I shouldn’t be talking about it. They wanted me to remain silent throughout the aftermath of her cheating on me which is what led up to the break up.

A couple weeks went by and I messaged Spar. We decided to have a voice chat between him, Saika and myself. Two weeks went by and no voice chats happened. So I asked Saika if Spar said anything to her about it. Which she replied he never did. This leads me to believe Spar didn’t really want to actually have this conversation. So I ended up getting him to talk in dm’s about it. Both times he would pretty much be yelling at me, belittling me and even go as far as calling me delusional. He even went as far as telling me none of it happened and would even tell me how I was feeling. Even so, I tried to tell him how I was actually feeling and he refused to listen to how I was feeling. How can you tell someone it didn’t happen when he saw everything? He lived everything…. 

After this conversation with Spar I got a message from @TroddTV basically telling me that he was stripping me of my mod powers in his discord GA. I talked to him a little bit and he’s like “and i belive you but i cant just not be her friend for just cheating;

cheating happen to alot of people.” To me this is him saying cheating on someone is perfectly fine and being friends with someone that cheats on your friend is fine. 

I had talks with Dogette and she was the first person to tell me that I am trying to manipulate Saika by telling Saika I’m not going to be friends with her over this. After I said this I literally walked away from the friendship. How can you manipulate someone when you are more than willing to walk away from the friendship? Yes I did try talking to Saika a week or two after, but still nothing came of it due to her just wanting proof.

I was losing friends left and right, one friend was @UnicornLunae she unfriended me and unfollowed me so I sent her a message saying a bunch of stuff about she’s just another friend that wants nothing to do with me over this. She responded by saying she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Because she said I manipulated and harassed people. I don’t even believe I harassed people as all I wanted was Meagan to tell the truth to them and she absolutely wouldn’t.

I even asked Zach for screenshots of what Meagan said that night, but he flat out denied it as since the day he allowed it he wanted himself detached from it. He even defended his best friend Clay hardcore for it. The only people that would be able to show proof from Zach’s stream that night is Zach, Meagan and other mods.

Why wouldn’t she tell the truth? Because when everything happened she felt embarrassed. She didn’t want to be an embarrassment to any of these people she called friends including Spar, Saika, Dogette, Todd or Luna. Though even if she told them the truth I feel like they would have been perfectly fine with it.

One day while watching Saika’s stream I saw her (my ex) mention something about being in a different city with her going to visit a guy, @Brunodiaz. Bruno is someone who considered me a friend and I felt like-wise. I messaged Bruno to confirm if what I thought I saw was true and he confirmed it was true. Basically went as far as telling he should have told me but he knew how I would react so he didn’t. So after I told him what she did to me and him being fine with how she treated me, I parted ways from our friendship.

All I wanted from Spar and Saika was to give me the same respect about not associating with someone like they expected from me with the guy who abused Saika, I just wanted them to not associate with Zach or Meagan. But they wouldn’t, they refused to give me the same respect. 

The one thing I can say is someone once told me that Spar was also abusive and controlling. Seeing how he treated me and the person he really is….  I can say I now believe it. He tried to gaslight me and even manipulate me. 

I have full chats of everyone involved except Meagan due to our messages being through texts only. Why don’t I have hers? Because whenever you break up with someone you always delete everything to do with them. I even have my dm’s with Sparbucks in full, which I’ve noticed that he has recently deleted his side of the dm’s. When people delete stuff this typically means they have something to hide or they don’t want people to know the truth of something. Whether it’s how they’ve treated someone or how they were during a situation.

If you don’t believe me and want some type of evidence from these people. I can absolutely provide it.

Whoever makes it this far, I truly appreciate you.

I didn’t even say anything about @Miffoo who literally blocked me (on discord) after talking to someone else about the break up and what occurred. He went as far as telling me he didn’t need to ask me my side, because someone told him everything and that’s all he needed. He has since banned me on Twitch.

Random Update:

Ever since this situation has occurred there have been so many people who have unfollowed me and blocked me in Twitch chats over this situation. I should have written down all of the people for memory’s sake, but I didn’t and only know of a short list off the top of my head. 

UPDATE 12/19/22

I went into Saika’s stream and saw that the “mutual friend” Megan who they deemed at the time everything happened was untrustworthy. So I messaged Megan about being close to Saika now. To further find out she is now mutual with my ex again. She sent me the following messages

Megan4321: it was/is a big cluster fuck of lies and manipulation and too many feelings were hurt and too many people were brought into it who should have never been involved. Ive moved on, learned from it and grown. I have talked to meagan since then and we have come to a mutal understanding that the full truth will never be out there for everyone to know. we are on ok terms, we chat from time to time when we see each other, we support each others stream and just moved on. I dont want to dwell in it any longer, we have all had plenty of time to learn from it and move on

Megan4321: I can’t change anything, the full truth will never fully be out there. there will always be my truth, her truth, clays truth, your truth, all the random peoples truth, too many people got involved. you guys brought so many fucking people into it it’s unreal. you aren’t the only one who lost friends and it sucks, the whole thing sucks so damn much. I to this day am the only one who sent and showed 100% every message that was sent to me, my honest truth is out there. I have no control over what others want to say or do from there
I also tried to reach out to Saika to make amends shortly before this and she was fine with this as long as the situation was not talked about. Even though in reality to make amends and move past a situation, that said situation, may have to be talked about if they are both serious about making amends. I even tried to tell her that she needs to look at her relationship with Spar after he was gaslighting me through the situation as gaslighting is a form of manipulation. If he was willing to do this to someone he called family. He would do this to anyone, including his community and anyone he is in a relationship with. After I sent her a message about what Megan had just told, Saika decided to block me.

This family is/was a toxic family amongst the Sea of Thieves community and still is to this day. They obviously want to lie and cover up the situation whether they want to deny that it ever happened even when there is proof of it happening.

DM’s with ZachNCheese after the night happened